Bonus Prizes for Bad Ideas
by WildHorseFantasy
Summary: This is one undercover operation Neal doesn't want any part of. Danger is on all sides. If he does things his way, the job may be over faster but will he pay too high a price?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own White Collar. I just dream in their world, I don't make a profit off it.  
**

* * *

Peter stopped as he entered the FBI main office as a colored paper airplane soared passed him. He looked to his right, sharply. Neal sat at his desk and gave him his best innocent 'what?' Look.

"Why are you throwing paper airplanes?"

"What paper airplane?"

"That one." Peter snagged it and found a coffee stained paper from a recent case involving an airline pilot suspected of identity theft.

He looked at Neal, but before their banter continued, he spotted Hughes, pointing at him and motioning him into his office. Peter was more than a little disturbed with the case he dropped on him. "He won't like it. I don't like it. What if he runs into someone who knows him?"

"We've taken all that into account Peter. Now go get him."

Peter sighed, walked out and motioned Neal to come up to the office. He let Hughes fill the young man in.

Neal was, for a moment, speechless. "You want me to what?" He finally sputtered.

"Go inside, find the informant and whoever is on the inside whose leaking the information." Hughes repeated with forced patience.

"In a prison. As an inmate. Do you know what they'll do if they ID me?"

"They won't Caffrey. No one in this facility knows you, at least in that section." Hughes stated firmly.

Neal's brows rose at this. He gave Peter a beseeching look.

"And you won't go in alone. Peter's going in as a guard."

Peter blinked at this. "Do I know any of them?"

"No. Medium security, we've vetted the cell block inmates, who will be there and even the staff."

"But you get to go home at night." Neal said, scowling. "I'm stuck there until..." He looked sharply at Hughes. "How long do I have to pull this off?"

"Long as you need."

Neal looked horrified.

"If something goes wrong, we pull you."

"If something goes wrong it may be too late to pull me!"

"You can do this Caffrey. In fact, you may be the only one who can."

Neal turned to look at Peter as they left Hughes office to prepare. "Now he believes in me? Now of all times?"

Peter shrugged. "What can I say, you've experience in the system. And hey, it's not even supermax. You can probably walk out the door without our help." He gave Neal a pointed look. "He's right you know. You can do it. It probably won't even take long. And you're not going in as Neal Caffrey. We'll even tweak your ID to give you maximum advantage."

"Just don't lose me in the system or solving the case will be the least of my worries."

Peter went in as a guard before Neal did. By the time Neal arrived, Peter was all for pulling out himself. The warden was in the loop as far as knowing an operation was going on in the prison, but didn't have all the details. He only knew an agent was in among his guards. Peter had argued against leaving Neal's cover a secret from the warden, but it was believed, if he behaved different toward him, it might be a giveaway. At the time he'd bought that. Now he felt sick with doubt and wasn't so sure.

Steve Tabernacle AKA Neal Caffrey arrived with a group of inmates and Peter, thanks to the warden, was helping the processing. Neal's eyes glanced sideways but slid passed him. Neal handled the entire degrading situation better than Peter. Outwardly, he hoped, he didn't show his anger at the casual humiliation of the searches, the crude comments. Neal had a complicated mix of confident but wary about him. He didn't mouth off to the guards but neither was he a push over.

When Peter left it was with great reluctance. He managed to catch Neal's eye once when the young man was locked in a cell with another inmate. Neal and the other guy sized each other up. It wasn't until he was sure the other guy was harmless for the moment that he left, shift change or no.

"This is...worse than I imagined, El." Peter stared at his food and wondered at the stuff they'd served Neal. Even the memory of the smells turned him off. It was a wonder Neal had eaten at all.

"I take it you don't mean my cooking."

"No!" Peter looked startled. "I didn't know...I know we're supposed to punish criminals, but we're supposed to rehabilitate too. Everything I witnessed said it was the law of the jungle in there. And the guards...I think some of them enjoy it. Not all, but some..." He sucked in a deep breath. "How can we expect them to learn to live as decent citizens when they have to live trapped in an environment like that for years? When they go out of there way to humiliate? How can they be expected to go out and be respectful when they've live for years in a place that dehumanizes them?"

"I guess the guards get desensitized." El observed with concern. But she was frowning. "But Neal did survive before."

"In supermax, it was just him in a cell. And...I spoke up at the sentencing. Made sure they knew he was non violent and he should get some protection. Here..."

"You couldn't do that?"

Peter just shook his head. "And he's alone at night...in a cell with a stranger."

"Neal makes friends easily."

"These 'friends' may come with price tags. He didn't want to do this, El."

"Can you get Jones or Diana on the inside as guards at night?"

"I can try. But we can't openly act or be treated different from the other guards. We can't follow him around. If we are, it'll just give him away."

Neal for his part, was staring at the ceiling, uselessly trying to sleep. The guy bunked beneath him was snoring. Somewhere someone was crying. A faucet was dripping. On the whole, Neal didn't complain about the snoring guy and he didn't disturb him. Annoying as it was, it was not a voluntary issue and the guy seemed nice. That was no guarantee he wouldn't turn out to be a monster, or a push over either. Neither would be good for his new cellmate. Lack of food and sleep weren't good either. They wouldn't help him solve this case, connect to the behind the scenes mastermind, and get out of here. He sighed. He closed his eyes and pictured the pained, private look Peter had passed him when he left. He knew Peter wouldn't sleep well, knowing he was here. That was an odd, ironic comfort. Someone cared. Someone who would be back, not on visiting day, but tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

It took Neal all of a week to work his way through figuring out the status quo, who did what, and who was passing out messages to control the team of White Collar crooks on the outside. The guy was a real mastermind. But being bored, and being impatient, cost him. He needed information and fast. In addition to quickly making friends with some of the other inmates, he looked for a quicker solution. So he managed to sneak all the way into a guard station when the guard was off dealing with inmate trouble elsewhere. Once there, he took a look into the phone log files. He found out who had contact with who and when.

This would be a great help and he didn't hesitate to call Mozzie and ask him to check it out, via the phone in the office. He called Mozzie, who had a burner phone set up just for this. Neal would only get one chance to use it before Mozzie switched to another. That, of course, is where he made his first slip. The guard came back. Not just a guard, but the new guy, the new captain that they had not vetted because his transfer was sudden and last minute.

"What are you doing!"

Neal flinched and winced while still facing away. Cursing his own impulsiveness...he should've waited for Peter and their check in rather than risk being caught out of bounds...he turned slowly.

The captain was a big man with a heavy mustache and right now he looked livid. He also had a baton in hand. Neal recognized the danger signs. This was not one to take a casual attitude with.

"Um...I needed to sit down, Sir, I felt a bit dizzy and when I came looking for help, no-one was around."

"Who do you think you're fooling?" The man had him by the wrist and in cuffs before he could blink. His grip on his bicep was painfully tight. He hauled him straight to the warden's office. Neal's standard 'look them in the eye and tell them your sorry' wasn't enough. They could tell he'd made a phone call and it was an unlisted number.

"Who did you call?"

Neal had a split second to ponder his answer. They knew he'd made the call. Denying would get him nothing. He was going for his best, wide eyed innocent look. He couldn't tell them who he'd called without dragging Mozzie into it.

"The phone log says a call was placed while you were there. Are you saying you didn't make that call?"

Neal shook his head. Internally he was frowning. There was a time he'd have had an answer ready to roll smoothly off his tongue. He was slipping and this was the worse time for it.

The warden looked at the phone and dialed the number. It went to a mailbox with a generic voice on the other end. Neal knew Mozzie had already ditched it.

"You're going to solitary."

Neal's eyes widened in alarm. He couldn't investigate from solitary. Would the team think he'd failed and pull him out? Or leave him in there until he was released to continue investigating?" That thought made him ill. Neither his ego, which demanded he succeed in his mission, nor his sense of self preservation, wanted to lose this one.

Peter was striding passed as Neal was hauled to solitary. Neal heard him freeze mid step. Neal cast a 'help' look his way. Peter tried to look curious, not alarmed. "What did he do?"

"Caught him messing with a phone at a guard station. He's going to solitary for a few days."

Neal's eyes were rolling at Peter in a 'do something' gesture behind the captain's back.

"Oh." Peter swore inwardly at the complication. He wondered if Neal had gotten himself into these situations when he was serving his sentence, decided probably he had. That facilities warden's exasperation had suggested that the escape was only the most recent of his stunts.

Peter managed to wangle his way to solitary, ostensibly familiarizing himself with his new job. Peter managed to convince his guide he would be fine alone, after being warned to watch out. Inmates were known to throw things, food, and more disgusting objects at the guards. Cursing was not uncommon and one of the least offensive things going on. Neal was doing none of those. In fact, the first thing Peter realized is there was nothing to do. Not even a scrap of paper for his origami or a crayon to doodle with. His CI was pacing in circles and he worried immediately that the restless young man was losing his mind with boredom. When Neal looked up again, Peter realized Neal was trying very hard not to do just that.

Glancing around, Peter asked softly "You okay?"

"Get me out."

Peter stared at him. "You want to throw the whole..." he glanced around and didn't finish.

"Please. I can't investigate from in here!"

"Maybe I can talk him down."

Neal chewed his lip. "Can you...do something about the phone number? That's what tipped me over the edge, I think."

"Who did you call?"

Neal's brows rose. "Haversham."

Peter scowled.

"I had some data to look up and needed his sources. But I can't give him up."

"It needs to be a foolish decision to call someone harmless that you missed...not that it wasn't foolish...I could've passed him a message. Maybe you should've told them you called your lawyer. He'd confirm."

"Mmmhmmm." Neal didn't disagree. "But he already ditched the phone and the number. Don't you think they'll find it odd the lawyer has a phone with a mailbox that doesn't even give his office information?"

Peter sighed. "I'll see what I can do."

The phone intervention got Neal out of solitary sooner, as Neal was able to give up have it appear to be a well intentioned phone call to a missed lover with an impeccable reputation. And once more he was in Sara's debt, he noted inwardly. She would have some serious questions after this one!

But then he noticed the captain was watching him like a hawk. He had not agreed with the warden's willingness to let 'Steve' out early in exchange for the phone number. The man's stare was unsettling, and Neal noticed one or two other inmates who also flinched when the man looked their way.

"Captain Jamesdown gives me the creeps. He left me with bruises hauling me like that." Neal muttered the next day in the yard. "Did he get vetted yet?"

"I guess so."

"You guess?" Neal muttered, talking to Peter while pretending to be watching a baseball match. It held Peter's interest better than his, he was sure.

"I haven't heard back yet." Peter changed the subject to their target. "You sure Darlon is the mastermind? He doesn't look that clever by his files."

"Pretty sure. I'll try and drop the info to him later and we can follow the trail."

"Sooner the better. And behave yourself. The captain is watching."

"Amen." Neal replied, fervently. For a rare moment, he really wished Peter had a closer eye on him. Not that he would ever say so. In here, he might need the backup.

The second run in was not even Neal's fault. One of the other inmates decided Steve Tabernacle, the new guy, needed to learn his place. He started the fight and brought two buddies with him. They all ended up pepper sprayed. Neal was frustrated because he hadn't done anything beyond walk down the hall, looking for the mark (or rather, the suspect) who he'd gradually gotten close too. He had lots of insider tips for the market the guy was into scamming. The sooner he dropped them and they followed the information out, the sooner he got to go home.

"Hey, they attacked me!" Neal argued, as the Captain, who he privately called "Captain Bully" gripped him hard enough to hurt. What's more, the man threw him into lock down without letting him wash off properly, and still cuffed at that.

Peter found him there, eyes red and swollen and a few large bruises, some time later. He was sitting on the floor of the cell, which didn't even have a bunk.

Peter swore. At that point, he didn't care what anyone thought. He uncuffed him and lead Neal to the nearest sink and helped him wash his eyes out. "Now what?"

"Attacked by a couple guys looking to keep their place in the pecking order."

"And the guards just left you here?"

"The captain."

"I better..." Peter hesitated, not wanting to do it.

"It's okay. Now that I can see." Neal blinked blurry at him. "We're so close. We can't quit now. But...can you look into the captain...I've got a bad feeling..."

"I will. I'll see what the hold up on the background check is." Peter reluctantly recuffed him and left him sitting there, forcing himself to remember Neal was a master escape artist.

Neal got out of that situation after it was confirmed via camera and a few whispers from inmates looking to curry favor, that he was the victim. It at also got him a trip to the infirmary and some over the counter pain good news for Neal was that at least his resistance had earned him respect of the man he was trying to get close too. Standing up for oneself was always important in such places.

Neal finally succeeded in dropping his information to Darlon. Between Mozzie and the FBI back checks, they now had a trail and were hot onto the White Collar thieves and the stolen loot. Neal was feeling good.

He successfully lifted a key card and went wandering. He was seriously considering Peter's observation that if he broke out of supermax, he could break out of here. He knew Peter would not be thrilled by that and it would send the entire facility into an uproar. Potentially amusing to him, but not convenient for his fellow inmates. Reluctant, he turned back, heading for their agreed meeting place. The sooner he found Peter, the sooner they were out of here. Peter would bring the warden into the loop completely and they would get him out without sending everyone into lock down - no point in making more enemies then needed on the way out - and they could all go home.

And then he rounded the corner, swiped the card to open the gate back to where Peter was waiting...and ran into the captain. To say he wished the ground would open up and swallow him would be an understatement. Self preservation had him taking steps back but before his brain and instincts could sync up on strategy, the man was on him with the baton. It hurt. A lot. He slammed him down hard without even a warning to halt and explain himself. Neal tried to speak, but he was dizzy from the blow. The captain grabbed him and hauled him down the hall. They entered a section Neal didn't immediately recognize. It was empty and Neal felt a wave of alarm.

"Think you can just do whatever you please on my watch, Caffrey? Think again. You may've fooled the system, but not me!" The man cuffed him to the bars of the cell. Neal was starting to recover, automatically working to free himself. The fact that this man knew his real name had adrenaline spurting through him.

"You've got it all wr..." Neal fell as the man struck him in the face again, then yelled in real pain for the first time as he brought the baton down hard on his hand. "Ah!" He repeated the blow again and then yanked out the spray and depressed it hard, right in his face. Neal was trying to yank away and crashing into the bars. His face felt like it was on fire and the man smashed his hand again.


	3. Chapter 3

Peter felt a wave of impatient alarm at Neal's failure to show at their meet. There was no way he'd be late to get out of here! He hurried along, looking for the young man. A radio call that he had a phone call detoured him to a guard station.

"Burke."

"Peter, that guard you asked about..." Diana spoke quickly. "He's got a bunch of complaints for brutality. They've covered up by just shifted him from one facility to another instead of firing him or pressing charges."

"Get backup here. Now. I can't find Neal. And that guard has been looking at him like a cat stalking a mouse."

Peter rushed through the cell blocks, heedless of the inmates and guards.

"Hey, take it easy. They'll take advantage if they think your upset!" one of the other guards, a woman, called after.

He spun back. "Have you seen Caf...Tabernacle? Or the Captain?"

"Captain reamed out some guy good for losing his key card. Tabernacle was in the area, Captain thought he might've picked it up."

"Can you tell where the card was used?"

The woman studied him but the urgency must've shown in his expression. Perhaps she too had doubts about the captain. She gave him the checked the computer for the location and Peter hit that section at his fastest walk. It took all of his will power not to run. He lost that completely when he heard the yells.

He was just in time to see the man strike Neal again and pepper spray him while handcuffed to the bars. "FBI! Stop!" Peter barely took time to say it before the other man spun and kept spraying. Peter got nailed with it and his eyes burned, but Quantico training overrode pain and he tackled the other man, wrestling and punching until he had him down. Sheer rage gave Peter some edge and he was helped when Neal kicked the baton away from the other. Peter cuffed him and slammed the stunned guard captain into a cell then spun toward his partner.

"Neal?"

The young man was shaking his head wildly. He hissed with pain. "It's bad."

"Eyes?"

"Hand."

Peter blinked blearily through his own reddened eyes at Neal's hand. He sincerely hoped it was his vision that was off and Neal's hand didn't really look that bad.

The warden was called in and the captain was arrested for brutality. He was objecting and arguing with the warden when Neal and Peter both went to the infirmary. They tried to take care of Peter first, but he wasn't having any. Neal was hurt worse, he knew it.

They washed Neal's eyes out and it took far more washing than normal. "He got a higher than normal dosage here..." the doctor said. His eyes were on the hand, which he did his best not to move. Neal hissed every time it was jostled. Only after Jones and Diana arrived did Peter take his blurry, pained eyes off his partner to rinse.

"So he's a plant too?" The warden was talking to Diana and motioning to Neal. He knew Jones was also an FBI agent, he'd been Neal's backup at night.

"Not a plant. I'm a person." Neal was blinking painfully at the ceiling.

Peter took that as a good sign, that Neal was trying to be funny. But his eyes fell on the hand and he cringed. His own ached, not only from sympathy but from the punch he'd given the guard. But Neal's hand looked...broken. It was also starting to swell.

Neal himself was very clearly trying not to look at his hand. His eyes rolled to meet Peter's.

"Hey buddy you almost had great timing."

"Sorry I was late." Peter's apology was heartfelt. He looked at the doctor. "What about..." He motioned to Neal's hand.

"Needs x-rays. Definitely warrants a hospital visit."

"Captain Jamesdown is claiming Steve Tabernacle is really a Neal Caffrey, a con man and an escape artist. He claims he caught him trying to escape and he resisted. He had this on him." The warden said quietly holding up a card key.

"Mr. Caffrey works for us." Peter said flatly, hand on Neal's shoulder. "And when your captain hit him he was handcuffed to bars and not resisting at all. I came looking for him right when it started."

The warden winced at this.

Diana demanded, "This guy has a string of complaints and he's been allowed to keep working in the system. He's just been transferred to different facilities. Why hasn't he been fired or charged?"

Neal snorted. "They won't take the inmates word...so they just spread the pain around a bit...OW," He swore as the Doctor moved his hand to splint it.

The warden scowled. "I was told you were after White Collar thieves and their leader communicated from inside. Not guards."

"We were. Running into the Captain was an unfortunate bonus prize. I am not letting him get away with this without pressing charges." Peter looked at Neal who was looking doubtful.

"I'm doubting we'll win..." Neal murmured.

"You want to leave him in control here to pound some other innocent inmate?"

"Innocent inmate is a contradiction in terms." The warden had his arms crossed.

Neal rolled his eyes.

"You know what I mean!" Peter looked at Neal. "And what did he mean you were escaping?"

Neal blinked at him. "I was coming to meet you."

"Where were you before that?"

"Ah...I took a walk."

"Where?"

"Around."

"No matter what you were doing, he had no right to cuff you and beat the stuffing out of you while you were helpless." Diana looked at the card key and handed it to Peter.

"Where did you get this?" Peter asked.

Neal shrugged.

"Oh for... You lifted it off that poor guard who thought he lost it."

"I figured the sooner I found you the sooner I – we - could leave. I didn't mean to get him in trouble." He gave Peter a pointed stare. "We can leave now right?"

"Yeah...let's get you to the hospital."

* * *

The warden showed up in the White Collar office a day later, looking for Agent Burke. He met him in Peter's office.

"How's Caffrey?"

"He'll be all right. He's in a splint and pretty cranky. He's glad to be home though."

"Aren't they all? Then they go out and get in trouble again."

Peter's eyes narrowed at that.

"I didn't mean it the way it sounded. Took some guts for him to come in like that undercover. I read Caffrey's real rap sheet. He's made enemies."

"We made sure none were there. Inmate or embarrassed previous guards were all vetted. The not so good captain just blindsided us."

The warden stared at him. "Why didn't you tell me I had an undercover in the inmate pool?"

"Because if you treated him different, it might be noticed. It's not your job to fake it. It's was ours."

The warden nodded but still looked annoyed. "I'll back you on dealing with the captain. I agree he gives us all a bad name." He sighed. "I'm glad you witnessed it. I've had another guard come forward since and express reservations about the how the guy behaved. It's really hard to get rid of these bad apples."  
"Because the system assumes the inmates are lying." Peter observed.

" They often are. And the prison union assumes the guards are saints. And they aren't. They are only human and they can get desensitized after putting up with so much."

Peter's eyes glanced past him to the door. Neal retreated a step as he saw the warden.

"Hey. Another guard came forward. Apparently they saw someone else get thrashed and were afraid to talk." Peter told him.

"Good riddance. The captain won't like it much when he's on the other side and doesn't have the upper hand."

"Speaking of hands, how is yours?" The warden tried to be polite.

"Sore." Neal was moody. "It's just inconvenient though, really." His right hand was in a black splint.

Leave it to Neal to color coordinate his bandages.

Peter snorted. "You'd call it inconvenient if you were on fire if it suited you. You should be at home, resting."

"I got bored."

"And you didn't take your pain meds."

"How do you know?"

"You're cranky. And they make you loopy. You aren't loopy. Well, no more than usual anyway."

"Me? Loopy?"

Peter looked around. "You hit me with paper airplanes when I came in the office right before this started.."

"Allegedly." Neal smiled.

"No one else in this office bombards me with paper airplanes and origami animals, Peter Pan."

"Well, hey, at least you have a sense of humor. Unlike some people." Neal cast a sidelong glance at the warden.

"Oh. The key card was a joke?" Peter's brows rose.

"Well. Maybe. I did think about using it. You did suggest it. But it would've been rude to stand you up..."

The warden was staring hard at him.

"He thinks locks are a puzzle to be solved." Peter explained. "And I did not suggest you break out. I just observed it would easier than supermax, since you were nervous."

"I was nervous of being bored and starving to death on those...science experiments they call food." Neal shrugged and handed Peter his report.

Sure. Peter thought. That's the only reason he was nervous. "Did you...you did this left handed?"

"Yeah. So don't expect my normally great penmanship." Neal strolled out with a wave. "Oh, and by the way, do I get hazard pay?"

"No. But I might buy you lunch if you go home, take your pain meds and stay out of mischief."

Neal grinned. "Now that's incentive!"

"I wish you luck." The warden said to Peter as he rose and stared after the young con artist as he exited the office.

"On nailing Captain Jamesdown or the White Collar thieves?"

"On keeping Mr. Caffrey from being bored. Now I see why Warden Haskill's first words were "I don't want him back. You keep him," When I called to ask about him.

Peter snickered and the warden looked at him. Peter explained, "Sorry. I still don't know how he got the warden's wife's credit card..."

The warden gaped at him. Peter gave him a meaningful look.

"I'm going back to my turf and...count my credit cards." The warden looked stunned. "I brought the things he left at the prison, since I was coming anyway...do you think...?"

"Don't worry. I'll make sure everything in there is his." Peter tried to hide his smirk as the warden hurried off. Best not to let them think it was behavior he accepted. And absolutely not best to let Neal think he approved or found it amusing. Nonetheless, he had to hide his grin behind the coffee mug.


End file.
